The Cloud Manicure

Spring is here and I'm in the mood for some pastels. Here’s a DIY manicure that’s as easy as can be — and you're sure to be showered with compliments. ;)

This is The Cloud Manicure, inspired by Jane over at Nailside (love that Jane).

I wanted to make this as cloud-like as possible, so I picked a light blue for my background. I gave my white fluffy clouds a silver lining and sealed the deal with a shiny, thick top coat.

Check out Nailside for the tutorial! Jane’s done ombré clouds (several shades of gray) and I'm thinking neons would look awesome, too. It really is the easiest artistic manicure I’ve done yet, and it was a huge hit! For you creative types out there, an "April Showers Bring May Flowers" theme is easy to imagine, isn't it?

oncloudnine, GLOSS

P.S. My favorite band ever? a-Ha. They've got a hot track from the 80s called "Blue Sky" and if you expected me to ignore that happy coincidence and fail to include a link to the song at the end of this post... think again!

Enjoooooy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-36ijwAQUs]

Chic Prints for Nails — Sephora by OPI: An Epilogue

I had a vague memory of trying out "Chic Prints for Nails — Sephora by OPI" this past autumn. I knew I didn't like them; I remembered they were difficult to apply, the sizes seemed weird and they peeled off almost immediately.

If anyone reading this has EVER had a good experience with these, please please write in the comments because I am convinced they are the worst nail creation in existence.

I really shouldn't be complaining because, after my dismal experience with Cosmic Stars, Sephora Customer Service very generously gave me a full store credit for both Chic Prints I'd purchased: Cosmic Stars and Chrome Lace. They asked that I send them the remnants of Cosmic Stars for testing (postage paid, no less) and said I could do whatever I liked with Chrome Lace.

I'm a hoarder, so obviously I kept Chrome Lace in the bowels of my nail polish storage under my bathroom sink.

Over the weekend, I happened to be digging around when the banished Chic Prints sparkled at me like a newborn star. I could not resist. As I held the package up to the light, slowly turning it this way and that to watch the appliqués twinkle back at me, I had a flash of recollection.

"No!" shouted my better judgement. "No, these are bad! Don't you remember? How they only last for 1-2 days? Don't you remember the struggle, the sadness... the hideousness? Don't you remember when one of the foul appliqués pulled out several strands of your hair? Don't you remember anything at all??!"

"Sshhh," I murmured. (In my defense, I was also sick with a growing sinus infection. I was not thinking clearly.) "I have an event that I plan to drag my carcass to tomorrow and I want my nails to be pretty."

I stared at the glowing silver appliqués. So shiny. So silvery. "So pretty..."

And so I lumbered off to the kitchen table armed with a mug of hot tea, a box of Kleenex and my nail toolz. I was ready to try again.

And here's where the story ends. I gave Chic Prints a second chance and I am bitterly disappointed. As the fisherwives say, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Let's end this on a high note.

Stay Shiny, GLOSS

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQtlrBziyzI]

Sephora — Glimmer Wonderland Nail Polish Set

You pay for what you get, as the saying goes. Usually, the old adage is true *except* when it's Christmas time! Oh, I do love a good gift set. (As you know.) I saw this gem online today and had to share.

Eighteen mini bottles — nice! I am of two minds when it comes to mini bottles.

On the one hand (pun intended), I love that they're less expensive, so you can load up on way more options than you could if you were buying full-size bottles.

On the other hand, I find that the little bottles dry up pretty quickly. You can always invest in some actual, legitimate nail polish thinner (yes, it exists... and NO, using nail polish remover as a thinner is not recommended by true purists such as myself). Alternatively, you can just embrace the fact that this is a one-time or two-time polish and make the most out of it.

If you're a big fan of Sephora by OPI, note that many of the colors in this set are some of the line's most popular shades, so you may end up with dupes if you've got a stash already going.

At $48 for the set, this breaks down to ~$2.50 a bottle. This would be an awesome gift for a young lady in your life who's just beginning to develop her very own nail polish stash — and would be just as perfect for that special someone who's already obsessed with polish. And if that "someone" is YOU (nothing wrong with a little treat for yourself)...

My recommendation is finding two or three friends and going in on the polish together so that you can all get your favorite shades! If all of you seem to be liking the same shades (uh-oh!), I suggest this "grab bag" method:

• Putting all of the little bottles in a bag or box — however you'd like so that the drawing is blind
•  Roll a dice or do rock / paper / scissors to see who grabs first, then take turns grabbing until all bottles have been distributed
• Then, it's up to each girl:
• Keep what you grabbed, or
• Discuss trading options on a bottle-per-bottle basis

Hey, nail polish distribution is serious business, okay?

Maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavor, GLOSS

Stupid Nail Polish Names

The name says it all. If you've ever been caught off guard — or struck by horror — when you stumbled upon one of the (depressingly) many misogynistic / politically inappropriate nail polish names and thought to yourself, "W. T. F. ?" ...

...THEN HAVE I GOT A BLOG FOR YOOOU. Ladies and gents, I proudly present: Stupid Nail Polish Names. The Blog!

Oh, I do love a clever writer. Sometimes "Panderbear," our witty blogger, is short and sweet:

Other times, she waxes poetic. T.Wo, this one's for you:

I especially love her labels! Panderbear's been inactive lately. If we all comment on her blog and beg for her to come back, maybe she'll return from whatever nail polish sabbatical she's on.

In the meantime, what's the stupidest name you've encountered recently?

"My answer would be 'One Less Lonely Glitter' from the Justin Bieber* for Nicole by OPI Collection," GLOSS

*Perfume. Polish. What's next, tampons? Step off, Beebs.

Chic Prints for Nails — Sephora by OPI

Cosmic Stars? More like Cosmic BARF! Hooooooooo!

First, the Candy Corn Mani failure, and now this? Ay ay ay. At least you can learn from my mistakes, that's all I have to say. And on that note, let's begin.

When it comes to new beauty products , I tend to think of myself as an early adopter.

This is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I feel glamorously ahead of the curve. Other times... With this latest experiment that I'm about to share with you, I felt like a nail polish pioneer, just paving the Oregon Trail as best I can, forging crazy rivers (to HELL with the oxen) and huntin' food, but then so-and-so gets a broken leg, I get dysentery, I JUST can't take it anymore.

This post is pretty pic-heavy, so click here to read the whole scoop!

I decided to try Chic Prints for Nails, a "Sephora by OPI Product." Love Sephora. Love OPI. Match made in heaven, let's GO. I bought these back in early September, because I had a premonition that the best patterns would disappear, just like everything I love. I was right.

And so, I hoarded Cosmic Stars until this very weekend. I put them on Sunday night, perfect for a Monday Halloween debut.

Online research made it sound like I needed a few special tools, such as toenail clipper to cut off the excess Chic Print, and a hair dryer. These are not like the Sally Hansen appliques; they require heat.

I was disappointed. I was surprised. By midday Monday, I was ANGRY. Observe.

The Peel enraged me. My hard work! My time! And they cost $15. That is three lunches at work. That is more than two trips to Starbucks. That is a compact disc. That is a bunch of singles I should be ashamed of purchasing on iTunes. THAT IS ~1.8 BOTTLES OF OPI NAIL POLISH!

I ran a mangled hand through my hair in frustration. The Chic Prints snagged some strands, and when I examined my nails, I saw one hair, caught in The Peel. Oh, no. No, no, no.

I revisted the Sephora site and read the reviews that had been posted since I purchased these in early September. I was not the only one who was disappointed.

So I called Sephora's customer care hotline. And you know what? They were awesome. I had the most incredible customer service experience I have had... maybe ever. They gave me store credit for Cosmic Stars AND for Chrome Lace, which I'd purchased at the same time. They even sent me a return label, postage paid, so that I can send them my remnants. They plan to do an "autopsy" of sorts.

I really can't imagine Sephora will sell these for much longer. I predict that these will be off the shelves by this time next year, if not sooner. In the meantime... DO NOT BUY.

xxo, GLOSS